I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
