didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
