The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
