I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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