clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
