You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
