I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
