If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
