Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
