Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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