so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
