Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
