I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
