need another drink. this is the easiest way
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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