Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
