I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
