how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
