I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
