You're so nebulous sometimes
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
