Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
