why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
