I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
