Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
