You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
