So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
