4 words: hood of his car
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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