Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
