I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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