i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
