The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
