this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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