my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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