im drinking this country out of the recession.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I would fuck him just for his dog
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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