i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
