I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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