do herpes really smell.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My dick has a subreddit
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
