i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
