ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
