if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
