don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
