How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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