Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
