just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
