So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
