even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
