tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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