my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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