Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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