So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
