i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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